Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize