Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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