Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
