i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
