is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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