I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
