If that was your dad, he is hot
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I deserve this hangover.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
