"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
