U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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