I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
