so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
