I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
