Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
