he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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