she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
