ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
