Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
