Nicole vs. Life
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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