I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
