we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
