Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So vagazzling was a success
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
