you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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