i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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