and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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