Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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