literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
