In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
this will be a night to untag.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
