Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
