weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
