Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
