I'm really into asian looking animals
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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