Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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