you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
