then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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