Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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