Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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