Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
