no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
