he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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