Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
birth control should be required to get into college
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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