they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
