My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
