Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
