There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
