I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
