how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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