My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
