The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
