I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
