I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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