How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
