Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
