I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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