Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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