You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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