my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
