...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize