I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
