It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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