I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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