been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
did i walk over a car last night?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
