Just fell off a train. Bad.
I don't think brook has ever known best
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
