Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
