she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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